Let's Play with Genetics!

Long story short: I decided to see what the offspring would look like if some of my sims were to reproduce with another. It seemed like a fun, quick idea for a blog post, but naturally it turned into a gigantic ordeal and by now I'm quite ready to never look at it or think about it again.

But I digress.































Why?!

That settles it, I suppose. You all produce horrible children and will never be breeding, EVER, especially with one another.

Why isn't she dead yet?

Going through my screenshot folder, I found a collection documenting the ABSOLUTE STUPIDITY of the AI in this game. You see before you the pictorial diary of Melonie Jung, a sim who cannot figure out how to leave the park.











They were taken over a rather longer period than ten days, as I kept forgetting to check on her, so it's safe to say she's not leaving anytime soon. Apparently she is not starving to death or wetting herself either, just taking the time to think about how hungry she is, how full her bladder has gotten, and how much she wants to write a book someday.

FailComic: Gotta Protect Em All

You may remember this comic.


Apparently I made a sequel to it, but never posted it here.

It's a boring life I lead.

"Ho-hum...hanging out in the graveyard at two in the morning..."


"Hooray, a deathfish!"


"Zomg, children?!"


"Are they hiding somewhere? Behind the outhouse or the car, perhaps? Do not want!"


Fortunately, the only thing hiding behind the car was a garden gnome.


He's a pretty lazy fellow. So lazy, in fact, that he doesn't even bother to close his eyes before he goes to sleep.


His interests include tomato vines...


...Watching tomato vines grow...


...Talking to people who are busy...


...And basking in the reflected glory of Sim-Me's literary genius.


"Live in a house like a responsible adult?"


"No..."


"LEAN-TO FOREVER!!!"

(What do you mean, that reference is getting old?)


I do not dance and therefore Sim-Me, by extension, does not dance either.


But what can I say? Rammstein was playing.

They put the "fun" in dysfunctional. Or take it out. One of those.

"Hey! Hey, Kai!"


"What's that jacket made out of, STUPID CLOTH? Because it looks stupid!"


"Almost as stupid as your face, which looks ALMOST as stupid as your hair! Hahaha!"


"Wtf is your problem today?! Is the homelessness finally starting to make you crack or something?"
"No, my problem's with your stupid face! Hahaha!"


"Look, I know you've got to be messed up from the constant sleep deprivation and exposure to the elements, but that is no reason to go around hurting everybody else's feelings."


"You're not the only one who's tired and hungry and blah blah blah..."


"Yaaaaaawn. Sorry, did you say something? I couldn't hear it over the noise of your STUPIDITY."


"I am going to kill you in your sleep."

The Unparalleled Beauty of Stanley

He is truly the Rock Hudson of our time.


And, as a bonus, one really freaky-looking kid.