I've Got You Under My Skin

The setting: The park at approximately ten o'clock. Everyone is exhausted from a long day of homelessness and has retired to their favorite pond-side benches to try and catch some rest. However, upon arrival they find that the park has been overrun with visitors and blaring music (if I hear "Feewa Foona Wabee" one more time I swear I will have an aneurysm).

Sure, they could just leave and find someplace quieter, like the library. That would be sensible. But you know what's also sensible?


Getting to know the locals!


Or, more accurately, getting to know their marital status in the hopes that you can move in on them. (Turns out this guy's boyfriend was sitting right there on the sofa. Oops.)


"So have you got a bed at your house?"


"I like beds. They're very important. Vital component of a good night's rest, which I haven't had in about, oh, a month now."


"And do you have a job? I'll tell you right now that I'm an unemployed hobo with no prospects for the future and no ambition, so it's kind of important that you have a job."


He appears to be promising her a bouquet of flowers here. Actually, knowing him, I'm sure it's more like, "I don't have the money for flowers, but if I did I'd buy you some!" She, understandably, appears to be thinking that he's full of it.


And yet, somehow this is not a deal-breaker for her.


At all.


He asks if she's single after they kiss. She is, but I doubt he would have cared even if she'd been happily married for the past decade.


He then proposes a makeout session, which gets a rejection as she finally realizes that he's a pushy, desperate sod.


She does not, however, object to his whispering sweet nothings in her ear.


So handsome. You've really lucked out, random townie.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go wash my brain with acid.

Questionably Dressed Townies (and Playables)

Gah! Hello to you too!


You are wearing the skinniest skinny jeans I have ever seen.


Lime-green sweater, pink short-shorts and heels as an exercise outfit. Keep looking, man.


I don't think the bright green and leopard print works for you. Or anyone.


Purple sweater, yellow vest, blue sweatpants, and pink sneakers...it's like I've opened a box of pastels!


Heiter? Is that you with a pudding face?


This is YOUR exercise outfit? Really?


Who's that blue-sweatered weirdo in the garden? I--


Oh.

The last sight those poor weeds ever saw.

Terrifying.

So close and yet so far out of reach.

He's creeping! Behind a bush. With a smug grin and a little thought bubble of a disguise over his head. Are you a younger Herbert?!


No, I think you're just Satan.

Anyway.


Extenuating circumstances have forced our heroes to get creative with their sleeping arrangements. Did you know that in Simland the library is open 24 hours a day, and that patrons don't mind vagrants napping alongside them in the reading room?


Not everyone wants to visit the library, though. Some of the less cultured vagrants prefer to invade somebody's postage stamp of a backyard.


Until they wake up for absolutely no reason.


"Huh...weird. I just had this feeling like I should get up, but I can't imagine why. Oh well, it must not be important."


"Hello. I couldn't help but notice that you're out here sleeping in my yard."

Yeah, it's just the homeowner, nothing important at all.


"It's nice to meet you. Want to come inside?"


He's inviting me into his house?!


HE IS. I am standing in a house. I AM STANDING IN A HOUSE. Ohmigosh, there are walls and furniture and electricity THIS IS THE BEST NIGHT EVER.


Must not mess this up! Must not mess this up! Must make nice with random friendly homeowner so I can get at his stuff!


"So, um, do you like gossip? You do, right? I mean, everyone likes gossip! Let me tell you, I can say so many mean things behind people's backs..."


"I've always considered myself more of a Circle than a Triangle, but I've voted Triangle before. I don't know, what are your political views? I will agree with them to win myself shower privileges--I mean, your friendship."
"Don't mind me, I'll just show myself in."


"A refrigerator! Jackpot!"


"You sure have a nice house. I like it! I like it so much that I'll stick my hand through the wall while you aren't paying attention!"


"It's not steak, but I'll take it! Nomnomnom."


"What's your friend doing in my kitchen?"


"Distracting you so that I can eat too. Even your cold soup is awesome!"


"Your bed's not half-bad, either."


"Neither is your guest room. I guess I'll just be taking this..."


"Aw, yeah, this is heaven."


"I hate you people. I'm sorry I ever invited you in. Get out."


"That didn't last long."
"So what now?"


"The lights are still on next door. Let's head over there!"


"Two strangers on my doorstep at one in the morning! Why, hello!"


"Hi. Can we come in?"
"I don't know you, but I don't see why not!"


This was even easier than the last house! Sweet! Maybe she'll be too nice to kick us out.


They wasted no time heading straight for the bedrooms.

Ha, this time I get the master bed! IT'S SO COMFORTABLE.


It's like sleeping on a cloud. WITH BLANKETS.


At first the homeowner seemed oblivious to her new roommates, going about her own business while they slept, but eventually she noticed something was up.


"You're sleeping in my guest bed and I didn't even invite you to stay over..."


"I don't think I'm happy about that. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I'm not happy about it."


"Oh well. Nothing to be done about it now! I'll just go read a book or something."


So she did. She went back downstairs and read a weird glowing book.


But then! An hour later she put the book away and seemed to realize that this was her house and that she, accordingly, ought to have some say over who is in it. She headed for the stairs. Could she be about to put our heroes back out on the street?


No, she...what is she doing?


Oh, okay. She's decided she doesn't need her bed tonight after all.


Take heed, random townies: This is what a happy compromise looks like. They come in and sleep in your bed, you put up with it. Is that so hard?


At three, she rolled out of bed again. And now she was really unhappy with the situation, although her beef seemed to be more with the late hour than it was with the fact that two perfect strangers had taken over her home.


At least she was sort of nice about it.

"Okay, people, visiting hours are over! Leave before I call the cops! :D"


"But we were sleeping! Oh man..."


Lesson learned: mooch off of people during the day.