An Allegorical Halloween - The Moral of the Story

An Allegorical Halloween - Compulsory Volunteer

Herbert's Night Out

That's right! I was bored, so I clicked over to Herbert's house and sent him out to have a night on the town.


Oh, come on, Sim-Me. Don't give me that look. What could possibly go wrong?


Err, well, aside from the inevitable presence of young children.


It's okay though! All he wanted to do was beg money off of random townies. You can't eat on a school janitor's salary, you know?


"Pleeeaaase may I take your hard-earned money?"


Having successfully mooched one whole dollar from his neighbor, Herbert turned his attention to another hobby: creeping.


"Hi there, little boy. Do you like popsicles?"


"I can help you with your homework!"

Gee, thanks, mister! This isn't weird at all.


The kid left after his homework was done, ostensibly due to the curfew enforced by a squadron of all-seeing, magically teleporting cops, but we all know the real reason: He just wanted to get away from Herbert. Left to his own devices, Herbert tried instead to chat with the boy's mother about kids.


"I thought about getting an ice cream truck, but I suppose I could just give candy away from a van."


Yeah, that didn't go over too well.


"Nobody ever likes my candy van idea."

He went home alone and despised and without his ice cream truck or his candy van. Cry moar, pervert.


Also, because I'm generous, a panel from the largely finished and still unnamed comic. Yes, one lousy panel out of 115ish.

Breakfast at Stonebrook

There's a cauldron thing at one of the beaches in this neighborhood. You can light a fire in it and do things with the fire, such as poking the fire, warming yourself by the fire, or roasting food in the fire. Best of all, it's free! Unlike the public barbecues where you must shell out twelve bucks for a pack of automagically appearing hot dogs, you can just bring your own meat or produce to the cauldron and char it until it is edible. (Especially helpful for fish, which sims cannot eat raw.) It even provides its own chairs.


He clearly does not recognize the awesomeness of the cauldron thing. Instead he's just going to stand there and cry because he doesn't have a house to eat in.


"I want one with walls and a roof and a stove and a refrigerator, and I want it on a rainbow!"

So unreasonable, jeez.


"I'm sick of looking at this beautiful view every morning! It terrifies me and makes me want to throw up!"


"And I'm sick of walking everywhere, so a car would be nice!"


Apparently she'd had enough, because she got up out of her teleporting chair to yell at him. The conversation appeared to go something like this:


"Look, I want steak too, but instead we have weirdly oversized minnow filets and a cauldron. So shut up."


"No! I know exactly who to blame for this!"


"It's HIS fault! If he'd started butchering cows instead of learning to fish, we WOULD have steak!"


She did not seem impressed.


"What, and now you're just going to sit down and roast a fish that I gave you because you fail at catching your own?"
"Bite me."


"Right, I'm out of here and I'm not sharing any more of my fish with you. Have fun with the creepy old man who just showed up."
"...The creepy old man?"


That's right! A wild Herbert had appeared!


Herbert used Creeper Stare!


It's super effective!


The others tried to ignore him, but he wasn't interested in them anyway.


Herbert used Inappropriate Thoughts! Please go away, Herbert. Nobody likes you.


Minnow Filet used Catch Fire! Its flavor is ruined!

Continuing (Mis)adventures in CAS

I'm still attempting to fix this sim.


Sure, it looks better right up until you zoom in and notice that the texture on her cheeks is an utter disaster, and also that MILK MUSTACHE HAS RETURNED.


Many, many alterations later some of the issues have been cleared u--


Oh hell.

That's it, I'm done for now. I'll just go check in on some of my other families.


...Oops. How long have you been living like this?


Visiting the beach, huh? It's miles away, so why aren't you taking a cab?


No, seriously, it's miles away!


And why are YOU jogging home, old man? It's even more miles away! You are an idiot...


...And this is why everyone hates you.


Finally, a real house! He danced a jig.


Actually, he was just stretching, but whatever.

---

Edit:



HA.


Please don't ruin this for me.



Okay, whew. Still stupid pudding expressions, but at least pignose and milk mustache are gone.