The Human Failipede

The existence of this comic is proof that I have far too much time on my hands.

I just live here.

Oh, jeez, there he is stalking me AGAIN.


Just ignore him, just ignore him, just...is he coming over here?


Crap.


This is the second night in a row you've stalked me here. GO AWAY.


Or you could hide behind that newspaper stand and pretend you're not up to something. Sure, go ahead, I'm sure I won't notice.


Can I write ONE page without you showing up?


"I'm here to pick fights with the townies anyway, lol!"


"And THAT is for saying a human centipede is not medically plausible!"


"But it's not, you idiot!"


"In fact, the idea is so stupid that I would rather break my own neck than stand here and listen to it again!"


"Fine. You over there, thinking about rocks. You listen to my genius instead."


"You don't have kids, do you? Because I feel sorry for them if you do."


"She keeps talking, but all I hear is 'BLAH BLAH BLAH.'"


"I don't know, I think she has a point. The middle and end segments wouldn't last long even if they didn't get infected. Man cannot live on shit alone."


"What?! Now YOU'RE criticizing my genius? You're all garbage! Your opinions are garbage!"


"I'm a DOCTOR! You're, what, a musician? I think that I'm better qualified to determine whether or not man can live on shit!"


"Whatever."


They left him to fume on his own, so he turned his attention to the nearest chair and began to make rude gestures at it instead.


Sim-Me was unmoved.

The downside of living outdoors.

So you're asleep one night, happily dreaming away, when another sim shows up unannounced on your lot.


And because the two of you have a relationship score of over 50, he has no qualms about inviting himself into your cushy new bed.


"Problems, homeowner?"


Also, Sim-Me won an athletic tournament!

She won it because nobody else showed up to participate, I think.

But she still won it.

My shack is the best shack.

Damn straight it's nicely decorated. I mean, just look at it. It's got three walls now!

Herbert's Night Out

That's right! I was bored, so I clicked over to Herbert's house and sent him out to have a night on the town.


Oh, come on, Sim-Me. Don't give me that look. What could possibly go wrong?


Err, well, aside from the inevitable presence of young children.


It's okay though! All he wanted to do was beg money off of random townies. You can't eat on a school janitor's salary, you know?


"Pleeeaaase may I take your hard-earned money?"


Having successfully mooched one whole dollar from his neighbor, Herbert turned his attention to another hobby: creeping.


"Hi there, little boy. Do you like popsicles?"


"I can help you with your homework!"

Gee, thanks, mister! This isn't weird at all.


The kid left after his homework was done, ostensibly due to the curfew enforced by a squadron of all-seeing, magically teleporting cops, but we all know the real reason: He just wanted to get away from Herbert. Left to his own devices, Herbert tried instead to chat with the boy's mother about kids.


"I thought about getting an ice cream truck, but I suppose I could just give candy away from a van."


Yeah, that didn't go over too well.


"Nobody ever likes my candy van idea."

He went home alone and despised and without his ice cream truck or his candy van. Cry moar, pervert.


Also, because I'm generous, a panel from the largely finished and still unnamed comic. Yes, one lousy panel out of 115ish.

More Comic FUBARs and Extra Screenshots

FailComic: Bad Touch

This is what happens when sims decide to exert free will even when all trace of it is supposedly disabled: They idle in unfortunate ways as you are attempting to pose them for your comic strip, and in so doing create another one.