Friday, October 28, 2011

Sim Survivor - Days 1 to 7, Week 5

DonaCoffee

Guess who's still stuck on a man-made island with nothing but a fridge and an espresso maker for company?

HalfDrowned

"I'm going to die here, aren't I?"

Yes, Dona. You are going to die alone and unloved and surrounded by hideous fountains unless you can find the strength to get two whole yards across the pool.

DonaPee

"Well, damn it, that's never going to happen! Maybe I'll just wet myself instead."

Mailman

"Ew. I'm just passing through in an out-of-place taxi and I'm STILL disgusted by what I see."

MockingDona

"I also happen to be passing through for no logical reason, and I, too, am disgusted! Ooh, look at me, I'm Dona Twellman! I'm stupider than the average puddingface!"

Rainbow

But I digress; nobody cares about Dona. So, instead of wasting our time on her, just admire this rainbow I found and then go check in on the other contestants.

PlentyOfBeds

Her absence left enough beds to go around, so everyone immediately got themselves on an eleven-to-six sleeping schedule.

GhostKellySalad

This clearly made the game too boring for Kelly, who promptly showed up to wake them and eat salad. (As a side note, I didn't even know that ghosts would disturb sims' sleep until they all got out of bed.) What's Meece doing back there? Cowering in fear of the terrifying apparition?

StupidGhost

Naaah. She's pointing and laughing at it! This is obviously the correct response to seeing a ghost with a plate full of leftovers.

NelsonIsAThinGhost

Shame it wouldn't do anything for Nelson's physique. He looks like he could use a plate full of leftovers.

Gossiping2

Nobody seemed to miss Dona. In fact, Meece and Esmeralda appear to be talking trash about her.

"And then she went back across to the fridge, the moron!"

Gossiping

Merriment was had by all.

PhonesAreNotForSwimming

Well, it was had by all except for Dona. At one point she attempted to end her misery by jumping into the pool with a ringing cell phone, but, as cell phones are not hair dryers or toasters, it didn't work. The phone didn't even break, and moments later Sim-Me taunted her by asking if she'd deliver some home-grown vegetables to the couch on the other side of the island.

DoNotVoteForMe

As Darren was giving Meece another hundred reasons why she shouldn't write his name on this week's ballot, his phone began to ring. Sim-Me wanted him to fix the stereo she hasn't got.

DoubleRing

Then Meece's phone rang. Isaac wanted some vegetables. Would you stop with the opportunities for five minutes, you stupid game?!

DarrenCameras

"After I win Sim Survivor and become president, we'll be famous! We'll have so many paparazzi following us around and taking pictures that we will be on the covers of all the magazines!"

EsmeraldaHeartsDarren

"That sounds fantastic! I love you and believe in you, honey."

Esmeralda does not seem to realize that Darren winning Sim Survivor would, by default, necessitate her horrible and lingering death. Oh well. I won't burst that bubble for her.

ChallengeSite

Wednesday morning brought a new immunity challenge. This one is less elaborate than the last.

FunActivities

It is built on the same principle, though. There are things to do...

KitchenArea

Food to eat...

TelevisionArea

Televisions to watch...

Goaaal

And a rather simple goal. The first contestant to autonomously sit on that chair wins.

DonaHopeful

"So, um, what about me? I get to participate in the challenge, right?"

ChallengeStart

Nope. Only people who are smart enough to leave the maze get to participate. Smart people, go!

DownInFront

Everyone ignored the easel, guitar, and telescope--in other words, every object that could help them improve their skills and enrich their brief, unhappy lives. Instead Meece tuned in to the horror channel, and Darren and Esmeralda immediately blocked the screen and forced her to watch their endless flirtations.

DarrenIsTheWinner

Then Darren pulled out a book and sat down.

Um.

And that, folks, was the shortest immunity challenge ever. Okay, everyone is free to--

MeeceAccident

Pee themselves rather than going home to use the bathroom. Okay.

DisgustingLove

And you're free to be disgusted by Darren and Esmeralda's smelly, in-your-face brand of love.

DisgustingLove2

And you're definitely free to yell at them for it.

BrokenSink

Back at camp, we appear to be having a few technical difficulties with the custom counters. Thanks a lot, EA!

NewCounters

I don't know. Somehow these replacements just look...inappropriate.

AnIsaacAppears

As I agonized over new counter choices, Isaac appeared in the middle of the campsite. Wtf, Isaac?

WtfAreYouDoing

His welcome was not a warm one.

"You killed Nelson! You're in cohorts with that thing calling itself our god and I hate you for it!"

PointyFinger

"What?! Hey! I was just trying to be social!"

Eyebrow

DAVID TENNANT EYEBROW.

TryingToBeHelpful

"So, uh, what are you upset about, anyway? Do you want to talk about it?"

AngryMeece

"I already told you what I'm upset about! GTFO and don't come back!"

IsaacScaresDarren

Disheartened by such a frosty reception, Isaac stopped trying to make nice.

IsaacScaresDarren2

Instead, he began to pick on Darren.

MockingDarren

"Look, Darren, this is you! 'DURR DURR DURR I am a greaseball with no political experience but I still think I can be president somehow! Pangborn/Santorum 2012!'"

MockingDarren2

"That's right, more Santorum jokes! You mad?"

DarrenRage

Oh, yes, he was mad.

Rebuttal

"Hey, if you don't want people to make Santorum jokes, maybe you should try not looking like him!"

AgainWithTheEyebrow

DAVID TENNANT EYEBROW.

StillMoreEyebrow

DAVID TENNANT EYEBROW.

BackwardsEyebrow

BACKWARDS-FACING DAVID TENNANT EYEBROW OF VICTORY.

EsmeraldaSlapsIsaac

Esmeralda, apparently an Eleven fan, had had enough of the eyebrow. She raised her hand and viciously slapped it off his face.

FightFightFight

Then she attacked him for daring to mock her boyfriend's appearance.

Ouch

Isaac was less than delighted by the whole experience.

FunnyFaces

Rather than keep arguing, he attempted to smooth things over by making funny faces at her.

HowAboutNo

She would have none of it, however.

MeeceFight

Meece wanted to get in on the Isaac-bruising action, so she leapt upon him too.

IsaacVictory

He fought her off, though.

RunIsaacRun

And he fled.

GraveyardLove

Saturday evening rolled around. The three non-stupid contestants were locked in the graveyard, and as they waited for Sim-Me to show up Darren and Esmeralda expressed their love. Darren thought about her; she thought about gardening.

Sim-Me was late. Where was she, you may ask?

UponAThrone

"Um, shouldn't you be at the elimination round by now?"

"No. Bring me another sandwich, minion."

Sandwich

She was lording it up on her own personal throne.

1 comment:

  1. LOL...awesome. Your Sim-me is so heartless! But oh so entertaining!

    ReplyDelete