I look so thrilled to be here.
Well, now that everyone has been trapped in the graveyard together, let's cast some ballots! And by "cast some ballots" I naturally mean "look at the tail end of everybody's relationship panel," but whatever, I've made up some ballots to go with them.
The results should be surprising to no one. Now, try to match each contestant to their handwriting and figure out what that handwriting says about them!
While you're figuring it out, I declare it to be hammer time!
"No hammer time, douchebag time!"
HEY! Hold still already so I can stab you with this hammer!
"ARGH! The pain!"
"It hurts and stings! Let me outta here, I never signed up for this!"
Actually, you did. Now. Hold. Still.
Oh, great, Sim-Me has learned the Stanleyface.
It seems there was good reason for it, as she was eyeing the police car that had appeared out of nowhere like a certain has-been celebrity!
Oh, did you need to route past the fence that no longer has a gate? Sorry! (Except not.)
The grim reaper shows up while Sim-Me continues to eye the police car disapprovingly.
"Hm, I wonder if I could take up gardening..."
The paperboy also showed up again. GO AWAY, PAPERBOY!
Paperboys are angrymaking to Sim-Me!
Clinton reacted surprisingly well to the grim reaper's presence.
"Wow, I'm dead! I guess I pissed off a lot of people, haha!"
"Welcome to the afterlife, Mister Lampkins."
"Yay! I'm orange!"
Sim-Me couldn't wait to leave. I guess that she had places to go and things to do, as she immediately whipped out her cell phone and began talking to someone. Also, note the red aura of evil awesomeness that now surrounds her.
Nelson fled from it in terror.
"Damn, you people annoy me! I'm out of here."
Kelly chose to celebrate Clinton's demise by sneaking up on Dona...
And scaring the life out of her. (Badumtush!)
She then enthused to Meece about their narrow brush with the grim reaper.
Thus ends the first elimination round of Sim Survivor: with nothing of value lost. Will next week's results be less predictable? Will more vehicles teleport onto the island? Who knows!