Sim Survivor - Day 1, Week 1

Welcome to the island, everyone, and to the first week of Sim Survivor, where one of you will perish. I suggest getting yourselves acquainted with base camp and then beginning to worry about food--

Wait. Clinton, why are you in your underwear?


"I dunno, I just am. Hey, look, our huts have got support posts on them! YAY SUPPORT POSTS!"

"HOORAY!"


"And, look, we've also got chairs! WOW!"


"Not only that, we've got a TABLE! GO US TABLE-HAVING PEOPLE!"


Yes, day one of Sim Survivor: Sims 3 Edition began just like I recall every game of Sim Survivor: Sims 1 Edition beginning--with a million repetitions of "What's This?" Sigh.


After they recovered from the initial excitement of having support posts and chairs and tables in their camp, some of the contestants began getting to know one another.


"You know, I really wish I could have brought some toothpaste..."

Others began to miss the outside world.


Lonnie began to hate himself for being stuck outside for the rest of his life. (He does, after all, have the "Hates the Outdoors" trait.)


Nelson, on the other hand, has the "Loves the Outdoors" trait, so being stuck outside for the rest of his life makes him happy. He felt the need to share this happiness with Darren and Dona. Repeatedly. At great length. Meanwhile--


W...wha?


Kelly, gowns are not pajamas!


"They are when you're me, LOL!"


Mmm, unmicrowaved microwave dinners. Delish.


"ARGLEBLARGLEHARHAR!"


"BLARBLARBLORFBLARGH!"


"We've already snapped!"

"YAY!"


Kelly likes to sit on the toilet.

She's not using it here, mind you. She's just sitting on it.


Clinton's mean-spirited trait kicked in and he attacked the person he was just making stupid faces with half an hour ago.


Meece attempted to smooth things over by asking him about his day.


Clinton responded positively.


Then he turned into a douchebag again. Poor Meece.


Meanwhile, Kelly crept up behind Esmeralda with evil in her eyes.


"BLARGLEBLOODIE!"


Yes, this is Esmeralda SMILING AS SHE IS SCARED HALF TO DEATH.


Once he got bored with antagonizing Meece, Clinton wandered off to yell at Darren instead.


"I have to use the toilet, but it's occupied. OH WOE."


"I know! I'll just barge in anyway. What a brilliant idea."


"Wait, now I can't get to the toilet and she can't get out of the outhouse. Maybe it wasn't such a brilliant idea. What now?"


"Bathroom claimed with my hipster powers of teleportation ok everyone out now!"


I sent Nelson out to forage for wild fruits and vegetables. Go, Nelson, go!


Why did you stop...?


Oh, no.


No.


No, no, no.

No taxis on the deserted island! NO!


Why you throw up, Kelly?


"You know, Darren, I've thought long and hard about this Sim Survivor thing since we got here, and the more I think about it the worse the whole idea gets. Sure, one of us will walk away with more money than anyone could ever need, but is it worth the price the rest will have to pay?"


"Seven of us are going to die for this money, do you realize? Seven of us are going to die!"


"Wtf do I care? Stop burdening me with your problems, woman!"

You know, considering that his lifetime ambition is to become the president of Simland, Darren seems not to care about the welfare of his potential citizens at all.


As the sun went down, Clinton attacked Dona.


And then Meece again. Seriously, man, do you want to be Sim Survivor's first casualty? Because that's where you're headed.


"Is this a bad time to mention that I'm afraid of the dark?"


Kelly's love of hanging out on the toilet eventually made a lot of people very angry.


Though she eventually moved, the confusion and bladder desperation she left in her wake was dangerous.


"Are you going to move so that I can get by?"


"I wasn't planning on it, LOL!"


The line for the shower was much shorter. Nelson, why are you showering in your hat?


After a long, long day, all the contestants were beat and ready for a well-deserved sleep. Congratulations to everyone who snagged a bed!

What do I mean by that, you ask? Oh, maybe I neglected to mention that there are seven beds for all eight contestants to fight over. As sims are gradually voted off the island there will be even less.


Kelly was the first to be left without a bed, as she was scrubbing the toilet she'd vomitted in earlier.


She didn't seem to mind. She sat down for a while...


...Got up...


...Sat down somewhere else...


...And then decided to take a nap.

So ends the first day of the first week. I planned to cover a week with each update, as 56 real days of Sim Survivor would just be insane, but you can see how well that's worked out so far. Hopefully each day will not require so much attention now that everyone is more or less settled in.