Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Calling the police would have been too sensible.


"We've been here forever. I'm exhausted."
"And I don't like being out in the dark like this! It's dark and stupid and DARK."


"If we stick around much longer we'll ALL pass out."


"Huh, what? I didn't pass out, I swear! I'm just resting my eyes!"


"He could be out here all night. Maybe we should just leave him to it."


"Hey, don't go! I've rung like eighty times, they'll answer the door eventually! In the meantime just...just look around and enjoy the view!"


"I don't care about the stupid view. I'm so t...tir...I can't keep my eyes o..."


"There are three weird strangers loitering in my yard. Hm! Maybe, instead of approaching them, I ought to walk away and call the police."


"Nah! I'll just stop to laugh at them on my way in."


"'Hurdurdurrr, I'm so sleepy I passed out on somebody's driveway!' Hahaha. That's great."


"That's awful! How could she just mock our predicament and then walk away?!"


"I don't know, but we're obviously not getting in. Let's just go."
"Wait...what happened?"
"One of the stupid homeowners made fun of you and then shut the door on us."


"This is all YOUR fault!"
"What?! How?!"


"I don't want to hear your excuses!"


"You know as well as I do that if you were capable of acting like a normal human being we'd be sleeping in a bed right now! You could have threatened her or made her feel sorry for us or, god forbid, CHARMED her into letting us in."


"But you won't do any of those things, because you're an idiot. Instead you just stand there with this stupid look on your face, going, 'Hurdurdurrr, I'm a moron who doesn't interact with people! I'm right by the door, but that's okay, random homeowner, walk on past and I won't stop you!'"


"Enough! I'm done. I don't have to listen to this."


And so it was benches for our heroes. Again.

That's okay, though. There are dozens of other houses with unrung doorbells!

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